Focus on Life™

Pakistan’s leading English language newspaper published a two-page interview on their Easter Sunday issue. Check it out.

Here’s a small preview:

This is a conversation about the book, the writer’s process, and his insights. The questions are deliberate: they are asked from the level of ‘the initiate’. It is an early stage when one is seeking a pre-supposed gratification from wisdom, such as ‘How can it make me more money? Be more attractive? Seduce more partners?’ Some of the most profound advice is lost on ears because the seeker is only looking for pre-defined answers, thus focusing on what they want and missing what they are getting. Are we failing to get answers because our questions are flawed? This conversation speaks to those who may realise that it is indeed the question that needs re-framing.

Ramla Akhtar: Who is Peter Cajander?

Peter Cajander: Peter Cajander is your conceptual image based on your perception, information, and knowledge you have. It is your ‘mental’ impression that mostly reflects your own past experience and history. Each and everyone has a different ‘understanding’ of Peter Cajander. And none of them is truer than any other—they are just subjective interpretations. So, Peter Cajander is not what you think.

RA: What is reality?

PC: It is whatever you perceive it is. That is your reality, but don’t expect anybody else to underwrite you definition. There is no absolute or objective yardstick for reality. Or to say it differently in a word: energy.

RA: Reading through FOR, one feels as if the mind is more an impediment than the wonderful tool we thought it to be. What good is the mind after all?

PC: Not much. It’s a good servant but a poor master. Would you rather prefer to have peace of mind and silence? Or constant rambling almost 24/7 without a way to quiet it down? Won’t you rather use the mind only when you specifically need it? Mind is useful when you need to think something, i.e. find a logical solution or plan something. Otherwise it should be mute and not act like a radio gone bizarre by jumping from station to station non-stop. If you observe your own private radio it only plays something from the history channel (your past) or from the sci-fi channel (the future that has not happened). Mind is never here, right now, present.

RA: The world pays a great importance to upholding belief systems. The philosophy of consciousness summarily dismisses belief system to address the subject of … consciousness! Where would people be without a belief system?

PC: A belief system helps us structure and ‘make sense’ of our surroundings. It is our conceptual framework that enables us to interact and cope with our circumstances and environment. It is based on our past experiences and knowledge. But since it is our ‘short-cut,’ we use it to extrapolate the past to the current situation and tend to ignore the present moment and not perceive it as it unfolds to us but how we ‘believe’ it is. So belief system can make us passive and ignorant of our surroundings. And without it? Everything would be fresh and new, ever-changing each moment.

RA: Why should we seek reality when the culture places a great importance on the qualities of imagination and creativity? Is there a conflict here?

PC: Who says that reality is boring and has nothing to do with imagination and creativity? Creativity is based on doing something unique and new — not repeating old and known patterns. Only our thinking is rigid and boring — it does not create anything new. We only know what we know. Why do you worry? Because you cannot think your way out of the issue you’re worrying about. In other words, you’re not creative! Thinking is not creativity. Nature is creative — it does not copy itself. Everything it creates is unique and original. We are part of nature and we create our reality by living it. Each morning you have a new empty canvas to draw and fill with your desires.

Read the complete interview…

I found this article from my archives and it’s related to my book, Fragments of Reality, or actually why I wrote it.

Everyday Life

Most of us are living in a middle of constant rush and hurry. Either we create it ourselves or it is imposed and assumed by the external world we are exposed to. It is amazing how much noise is around us. It starts from the early morning when you’re barely awake and continues till the final moments before going to bed. We are never really here in the moment, ever. Either we are accompanied by a radio and mp3-player or then we are among other people who keep us busy. That’s life–everyday life.

Still everything happens here and right now. We walk, talk, meet people, travel, work, eat, and so on. All these comprise of our life. But all this is just the external frame or the stage of the plays. It’s the outcome or the façade. What we are really experiencing and going through cannot be interpreted from the outset. A top athlete may look busy while he/she is running but how do we know? Within the situation might be entirely different. Actually when one seems to be occupied by the outset the reality within is often exactly the opposite. You cannot afford to think while being in the moment. Every golfer knows this: think about the swing and you have lost it before the club touches the ball.

When is the right time to be? Never is the usual answer—I don’t have the time. But this is part of the illusion like anything else. We are all the time and it is not possible to be but now. What we mean by not being here is to say that we scatter our perception of the world either to the future or to the past—in our mind. This creates the illusion of not being here while you still are physically here. This paradox was something I started to write about. When one begins to observe the world around us it is easy to realise that most of the time we are not living, at all. In another words we are not present.

This non-presence is easy to prove to yourself. Every time you don’t remember a particular circumstance or occurrence you were not there—you were wondering in your mind. Isn’t this a bit intriguing, we live but actually we do not? We look but we do not see. We are receptive to sounds but we do not hear. We sit in a meeting but we are not there— atfer we might not even remember being there at all!

No wonder people may start to feel frustrated or disappointed. It appears that they are not living at all. But if you begin to realise this you still don’t have the time to do something about it. We are busy, with our everyday life. It’s the work, the family, the hobbies and so on. A nice catch-22: constantly occupied to be without ever being. Where to start and how? Is it even possible without going to some isolated place and leave everything behind? Go somewhere in order to find time to simply be. Do you see it! I repeat: go somewhere in order to find the time to simply be. But we already are, when we only realise it.

This is the reason I wrote the book while living my everyday life. Being present is not about places it’s about a state of mind. Therefore any situation or place will do. Actually the busier and more active your life the better your chances to explore and realise the beingness in your very everyday living. Inner peace and harmony are not related to the external circumstances but internal tranquility and presence. Who needs to be calm and quiet in the woods?

“Politics is not about public interest but someone’s special (economic) interest.”

“Life is about giving, and the rest is taken care of.”

“Nothing has any meaning except the one we give to it— everything simply is.”

“Humbleness is all it takes.”

“The impossible happens when the possible is ignored.”

“If you don’t know what to do, meditate.”

“The (future) wealth is in the people, the past is in the tangible assets.”

“Skills, knowledge, and experience build the future.”

“Life is simple—thinking is complicated.”

“Only two things: the ones you think are important, and those that are.”

“Happiness is a continuous flow of life.”

“Nothing to say, everything to realise.”

“You are what you think, say, and do.”

“Your senses know nothing, they merely register movement.”

“Only when you have done enough, you can be.”

“Complexity is easy, simplicity requires mastery.”

“Society is persons.”

“Separate money from politics and you find very little interest on public matters.”

“Poverty is a relative term. Don’t expect it to disappear from the lexicon any time soon. One can be poor or rich—it’s just a matter of definition.”

“Enjoy the moment. That’s all there is.”

“Our legal tender is based on a threat of violence, and nothing else.”

Talking with David McMillan about Me, myself and I, worrying, and Who am I?

 

 Episode 4 [23:15m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

We can do lots of things and also have plenty as well. Still we are often confused with our motives and purposes for the actions we do. Why am I having all these things around me? Are they boosting my ego, reducing insecurity, or even defining in a subtle way how I see and regard myself?

First of all, any action, item, or thing can be necessary or entirely useless. The real purpose and meaning is subjective and cannot be seen from the outset by any third party. Price, quality, or the amount of items is not relevant. The only thing that matters is your own point of view. Are you attached to your surroundings? Do they define who you are?

When you have a need for something you are not free. If you long for more things, shopping experiences, or just for the thrill of having always beautiful and new things to play around with all those are keeping you clung in the loop—you simply need more, and ever more. It might be exciting to travel a lot or switch a job once a year, but have you questioned why are you doing it? Are you sure that underneath there isn’t a pattern that you’re repeating? It might also be a fear. You need to feel important, useful, respected, admired, or busy. The common nominator is that you think that there is a need to window dress for something or someone. Funnily enough you might in reality only just try to fool yourself—no one else thinks anything of you nor is following your traces of thought. We all live in our subjective realities.

When you need to have in order to be it is time to reconsider your expectations and reasoning. How come you cannot be right now but only in the future after a certain activity or process? Owning something does not define who you are. They are simply the things that you happen to possess or have achieved like a title or education. Certainly you can communicate and express yourself with the things you have. But as long as you are not dependent on them you can enjoy them fully without being obsessed by their presence. A Ferrari does not need the driver—it tells its own story by its existence. However, many drivers use the car as a way to define who they are: I have this so I am like that—in their own mind. We buy peace of mind, for a very short time. Often the illusion disappears in a matter of minutes or days after we have gained something we have desired for. Then it is time to repeat the process and desire something else. We live by having. Still you can only live by being, but only after you have learned how to value your existence without any strings attached. Richness is about being, no matter what you have or do not have.

We are all after happiness but seldom find it but only for a few glances or passing moments. Most of the time we are seeking to gain it via different things, people, or situations. We try to reproduce the moments and experiences we already had or we are just randomly trying to imitate someone else’s life with their choices. And all these methods fail to provide us anything but suffering and continuous seeking of happiness—they all are external to us.

Happiness is a state of mind that is independent of the circumstances or our surroundings. It is our natural state of being that we have learned to ignore while growing up. We have substituted the internal happiness for objects and desires external to us. They are conditional and related to some activities or specific points in time. What is common to all of these is that they are not present right now. They are projected to the future. This type of happiness is something that you’re always waiting for. Your constant mode is to achieve and ‘earn’ your happiness by actions or circumstances. In other words you are living in illusions filled by your expectations. Disappointments are a frequent visitor when you are dealing with your future projections based on your expected outcomes of the future situations or events. How much in control of your life you really are?

This ‘when..then’ -type of conditioning is very convincing but it is not really living. It’s about building dream castles and denying the moment. You are saying that I’m not happy right now and I’m substituting this moment for another one in the future. You are after the carrot that is always attached to the current moment—the stick stays in the future with the appealing prize as well. This takes many forms. We may prefer to work overtime and then compensate it back in the holidays. Or we are accumulating substantial wealth that we are hoping to spend after retirement. How can you enjoy your life later if you cannot do it now?

Happiness is not a destination—it is a journey. If you are not comfortable being in the journey you are suffering in the destination as well. Life is about experiencing and enjoying every moment you have. It requires that you are comfortable with uncertainty and change. We can only be happy when we have learned to accept the things that we cannot change and regard every passing moment as a gift that has some valuable lessons and experiences to give us. Only when being is enough you can be happy. As long as you need to achieve or become you are not going to find happiness. Life is about change and being in the moment—exploring the unknown.

Everything happens in the moment. Still we slip away from the awareness of it—many times a second. The mind wonders to the past or longs for the unhappened future but all these are realised in the moment, now.

Most of us are not awake even while not sleeping. The drowsing happens while living the daily life. We live out of our memory and not out of our creativity (imagination) like Les Brown once phrased. Living in the past means that we are repeating ourselves. We reproduce the thoughts, emotions, and actions from our past moments. All this happens over and over again. We are happy to stick with what we already know. Or as the case most of the time is we are swimming in the negative thoughts of fear extrapolating possible future events based on our past experiences.

Drifting away from the moment is nothing more than dreaming. And sadly this state is so heavy that it seems that nothing can create a state of waking up—even for a few split seconds. Fortunately everyone has those moments of being in the moment. Those intense feelings of being truly aware of presence carry a lasting memory print for a long time. Some experience them while doing sports, others by walking in the nature, and even encountering a close-by situation can trigger a heightened awareness.

Bu how to live now? In essence it’s very simple—you just focus on the moment 100%. This means that you do not think about the past or project a future, and keep on being in the moment only one moment at a time. Some call this meditation and indeed your life becomes a continuous mediation. And like any practise persistence makes a master. Don’t except quick wins or fast results. Actually more you expect the less you can be in the moment. Life is not about achieving but experiencing second by second.

The great news is that everybody can only live now. So there is nothing to learn or become—only to realise. The biggest hurdle is to overcome one’s fears. Our past haunts us, and as long as we have not dealt with it we are distracted from the moment. Living in the moment requires that we are in balance—exactly in the middle between the past and the future without any tilting to either direction.

We tend to be very practical in our thinking. It all culminates into question—how? How am I going to do it? How is it possible? How did you do it? Many questions and very little answers. If you were to know the means you would not bother to ask—you would just do it. But how have you done it in the past—without the answers before the action, that is?

One person’s impossible is other person’s business as usual. What’s the difference? A point of view—the other person cannot imagine a solution based on his/her past experiences, knowledge and understanding while for the other there is no mystery because it is part of his/her everyday life (understanding). In other words the doer believes and the doubter does not.

Ask a successful entrepreneur how he managed to do it, and often you may not find specific answers. They will emphasise their vision, passion, and dedication—they believed 100 per cent what they we about to create. And more importantly, they had the strong will and confidence in themselves that they can make it to happen, no matter what. And after all, how could you know beforehand how to do things that you have not done before? If you were to do only those things that you have done earlier, you would repeat yourself. So, is there any other way to create something new?

Your thinking is based on your past knowledge. We only know what we know, and we see and hear only what we know. Worries are produced in our mind and only by our mind. It is a closed system that exists only when you are thinking (of it or something else). While you are in the middle of some intensive action, you do not have time to think. You have to act. Try to think while hitting the ball in the golf court and you certainly do not make a dream swing.

Often thinking substitutes the action, and makes the realisation of our goals more difficult. It is not that one does not need to define the goals and plan things in advance, but it is important to realise when it is the time to believe on what one is doing and start to walk the talk (or the thought). Mind can produce different scenarios endlessly. Those what-ifs and hows have only one problem–they do not match with the outside reality. Only by starting to move one can keep a bicycle stable–the same applies to our lives as well. Paralysis by analysis cumulates the worries but does not provide any remedy for the underlying issues.

A different matter is when it is a right time to consider the how-question. If you want to make something big and major, it is not very wise to start by thinking how you are going to realise it. This would only result that you are not going to vision such a grand ideas and objectives after all. The road looks very cumbersome and also the visibility is very poor. You start to doubt and very soon the great venture has been turned into a farce—and all this can happen just in your mind! A sailor does not know the weather conditions for his entire route before starting to cross the Atlantic. He certainly knows where he’s heading and why he is doing it. He even may have a clear vision how he is going to sail the route and how long it is going to take. He is confident on his skills and competences to make it to happen. The how-question does not come to halt the action. In a word he believes himself.

Many times not doing is worse than doing something. While you are not making any progress you are still doing something—being in the same spot. Circling around the same area certainly consumes lots of energy but the overall impact may not be exactly what you wanted to have. Taking the first step is often the hardest. The sooner you do it the easier the consequent paces are. And like always before in your life you will figure out how to do it after all. How you did it? -is the question you can try to answer—afterwards. Just do it!

(See also Reverse Confidence )

Is your life in distress – maybe your career, personal direction, relationships, work, or all the above? A cul-de-sac can be a major issue with no easy way out. Still, the answer might be closer than you have realised.

Our reality is the product of our own thinking. It is built upon our assumptions, beliefs, past experiences, and knowledge. In other words, we often repeat the same record over and over again, and even without noticing it. Alas, this is the reason for the unbearable difficulties and ‘impossibilities’. We are stuck.

Instead of looking into future with great distress and trying to work one’s way out, how about pausing for a while and truly looking around you? Where are you and how did you end up here? Where did you come from and why did you choose to be here now? Don’t be surprised if you just simply don’t know, or you don’t have a good answer. That’s how it often is — life just happens if we are not proactively making conscious decisions. We drift and react on daily basis; days turn into weeks and weeks into months, even years. No wonder things may start to seem and feel the same!

Understanding where you are coming from often helps to get a bigger picture of the choices and experiences leading to the current stage. But don’t take it for granted that you have to continue in a similar manner. Each moment you have a chance to make a difference and do something else. We do not have to repeat ourselves like robots —day-in and day-out. Many times the only way to realise the repetition is a major distress factor coming into our lives. It wakes us up since we simply cannot continue like nothing happened. The old record is broken — it just does not play again. We are lost.

If you acknowledge where you are coming from and definitely know that there is no way going forward it leaves at least one possibility left: the current moment. One can focus on the present moment, and try to figure out and observe the surrounding reality. After all it may not exactly be like one has thought it would be — the same old and boring as it ‘used’ to be. But since we only know what we know, it might first be a bit difficult to see something else than what we are expecting to experience. However, there is one great advantage that we haven’t used yet, and that’s exactly the discomfort factor. We know for sure that there has to be something else since things aren’t working the old way again! We have nothing to loose.

If you cannot change the circumstances, the past, and the future has not happened yet, you still have the current moment. So, you have something! And surely you have plenty of more as well. Many experiences, personal assets and resources that you have accumulated along the way in forms of developed talents, skills, knowledge, and so on. In another words you do not have to start from scratch like a newborn baby into this world. You have something to build upon. Maybe not exactly like you used to do it in the past, but perhaps even something better than before?

Getting nowhere and being just here is a great point to start to create something new. It’s very easy to change the direction and do something ‘unpredictable’. Find again the things you like to do and are passionate about. Start to live again a life that is meaningful and full of fun – just by purely being and doing things that are enjoyable. After all, why should we do things we do not like or believe in? It is just so easy to forget to enjoy our everyday life until we have almost entirely lost the track of the whole concept. Then it is time again to rediscover the joy of living and do something else. Life is not about achieving but about being in a manner that is fulfilling and content every moment. A distress can be a blessing in disguise. Carpe diem!

This is the era of individualism. No matter whether we talk about individuals, nations or international coalitions. Everywhere the separation is the prime directive and the underlying assumption. Still nobody is an isolated island. We only pretend to be separated.

Separation means that there is something that is included and the rest is excluded. It defines limits and polarises its object from its environment. In most of the cases separation is also associated with independence. It is assumed that this separation is outside of its environment and hence it is a self-supporting unit. In reality, this is seldom the case.

Our virtual reality can be easily exposed and revealed. It actually does not really matter whether we consider an individual or a nation. Look around you and observe the world around you. Immediately you see a plenty of products and services. Some of them are crucial for your well-being. Life-supporting elements such as electricity, clean water, and food are the most obvious. Where do they come from? Part of the power is coming from local sources but often oil or other scarce supply is needed. Also you breakfast table is most likely catered with fruits and products around the world. Ever more of our ordinary life is imported elsewhere. Call to a contact centre and you might be redirected to India or other cheaper service location. Visit a retail store and realise that most of the electronics and other products are manufactured in China or Asia.

We need each other. We are dependent on each other. We breath the same air, we drink the same water, we eat the same food. Why we continue to consider ourselves as isolated and independent entities when the reality speaks otherwise? Ignorance and selfishness start already harassing our lives in forms of natural catastrophes and epidemical diseases. Exploiting elsewhere and shutting our eyes does not make the reality go away. We can only fool ourselves — in our mind. Still the reality has its means to give us wake-up calls. A time to stop dreaming?