Who Am I?

Have you ever considered the question where are you really?

Let's start by defining a house: What is a house? Usually it is built for a purpose—it has some relevance and function. A house is built up from various different components that are combined and put together from basic materials and minerals. In other words, a combination of materials put together in a certain order is called a house. This house is not outside of the world from which it is put together. A house can be old, young, stylish, ugly, ruined, or abandoned. At the end of its existence, it is again just various materials in another order that is no longer called a house. So what was the house?

OK, back to us. Who am I? Am I the body that is combined in a particular order from stem cells? Now we have learned to replace our broken arms, hearts, and other organs with new ones. We can even start to grow entirely new body parts from our very own stem cells. We can be young, old, beautiful, ugly, sick, or healthy. And at the end of the day we are just a bunch of materials in different order and we are called dead. So what was me?

As we defined, a house is a combination of things from its surroundings. It is not outside of the world. It is part of the world. But still the house is something that is separate because we call it a house. If it were not separate, why should it have a name? Something nonexistent cannot be seen or realized. A separation means that it has boundaries and can be put in relation to something.

When we are very young we do not know the difference between our own body and the outside world. We learn this separation from others. We can observe and sense things around us that are not us. We do not feel them or cannot control them. So we come to a conclusion that they must not be us. Similarly, in the way we call a bunch of materials laid together in a particular order a house, other people call us by name. Other people define us and we learn to be that whateverthename they have given us.

House has a particular function or purpose. But what is our purpose? Why are we at the same time separate from the world but still part of the world as well (we do not live outside of the world)? We are a bunch of materials put together in a particular order and we have a certain concentration of atoms or energy from which other people recognize us. So could this separation serve a purpose? Why should we be separated from the world if that would not be meaningful? No one would build a house if the house would not have any function. There would not even be a word house in that case. A separation named house within the world serves a purpose for us—it shelters and gives us a place to stay. But a house cannot acknowledge itself. We can. Why should we be aware of our separation and existence if that would not serve a purpose? It would be totally strange to use energy to put something together without any purpose.

So, who am I? For sure I am this separation called by my name. I should be also part of the world because I'm built upon the materials found in the world. But when my heart is replaced or my leg is lost I do not vanish with them. So they are not me. There seems to be other people like me. They behave the same, they talk and communicate. Their existence seems similar to mine. Still, they seem not to be me. There are also other living things that are called animals and plants. I'm not so sure of them because they do not communicate like humans do. But I'm sure they exist as well. They live outside of me.

Somehow it is difficult to go further from here. There really does not seem to be a me, only this separation within the world that is recognized by others. They have defined me, and I am built upon things found in the world. My conclusion is that there is no me or I could say as well that I am the world because I'm part of it and live in it. This temporary separation called me is like a house. But what is a house? My purpose is to realize the separation as an illusion and as not more than atoms laid in a particular order. A temporary concept built upon to realize the concept of me—and its oneness with the world. A separation to realize its oneness. And then shall I be no more separated.