November 22, 2004

Facts are very important on our time. We live surrounded by
lots of information and knowledge. Most of the data around
us is not wisdom but more or less processed bits and pieces of
information. We are bound to make decisions and jump to
conclusions every day. Our understanding and perception is
limited, but still we draw conclusions. We pick sides and pres-
ent our truth as the universal one. Seldom, if ever, do we real-
ize that our subjective point of view is not shared face value by
anyone else. It is actually impossible, because everyone has his
or her own way of seeing and understanding the world. Our
own experiences and knowledge define how we interpret situ-
ations and items. Therefore, our own “truth” or rightness is
totally unique, subjective.

Still we assume that everybody shares the same values and
standards we do. Of course they understand things in a simi-
lar manner to the way we understand them. It is so obvious!
How can anyone not see the truth and the underlying issues?

This is why it is so easy to say that something is right or
wrong. We assume things that do not exist. Actually, it does
not matter, because everything is relative. What changes and
defines the value weighting are the assumptions out of which
the relative judgment is made. These we cannot explicitly
define and describe to others—they are embedded in us. If
only everybody had the same assumptions and objective facts
of the situations and issues, then we could consider making
value calls. This is not possible and, therefore, the world is full
of chaos and blaming. Everybody is right and wrong at the
same time—only in their subjective way. There is no objective
absolute truth from which to validate the real standing point.

Rightness is built deep inside us. We need to manifest
our excellence and cleverness. We want to demonstrate our
capabilities and knowledge. It is important to us to show
that we have acknowledged and understood the issue. We
want to gain acceptance and recognition from others.
Rightness is a very common and often hidden way of
achieving this. Seldom is it about the issues themselves—
they are just the means for the actual business of getting
self-satisfaction. Rightness is often about power struggle
and self-justification. We want to prove that we can win and
be superior to others, we were right!

A harder lesson to learn is how to acknowledge the right-
ness of a situation but let it go without having to prove it to
others. Another way to express this would be to say that we
feel that we have been mistreated or something is unfair. In
the situation, we did not have a chance to prove ourselves and
show what we regarded as the right thing or proper solution.
They may regard us as weak or stupid because we did not
claim our position and or stand up for ourselves. Few of us
have the guts and the wisdom to give way. The wise do not
have to prove anything. Being right itself serves no purpose. It
is totally useless and a waste of resources and energy. Why
bother with something we already know? Wouldn’t it be bet-
ter to focus on more important issues that bear real signifi-
cance? Next time you have an inner urge to be right, consider
why you are about to act the way you intend to act.Is it purely
to achieve the objective or, rather, to prove yourself?

To be right, to be wrong, and just to be. What is the right

This is the original text, and an edited version can be found in the Fragments of Reality -book.