Fair and Unfair

Often we feel that we are treated unfairly or something hap-
pens that we do not accept as fair. What is fair and what is
not?

Life is neither fair nor unfair. It's beyond the concept of "rightness." It does not judge or prefer anything or anyone— it just simply is. How can we still feel that we are mistreated?

When you ask different people about their views of fairness, you get totally different answers. Some find similar circumstances totally acceptable and "right" whereas others see them as totally unacceptable. Someone's fairness is another person's unfairness. This twist can even happen within ourself—over time we may start to see past occurrences differently. So, what has happened then? The situation has not changed because it has already happened (as we recall it). Our own interpretation of it has altered.

We are the only ones who can treat ourselves fairly or unfairly. We put things into a relationship and interpret the outcome. Our understanding is dependent on our own perception, experience, and subjective interpretation of the matter. On top of these, we create our own expectations that project and claim the desired (expected) outcome. Our point of reference is in relation to our expectations. We "judge" the fairness in comparison to how we have perceived and projected the situation. We have certain predetermined plans of the outcome that are formed based on our personal history and knowledge. Therefore, different people can wholeheartedly claim the opposite points of view—everyone lives in his or her own reality.

We evolve over time. Our thinking changes and we perceive the world differently. This is the interplay between our cumulated experiences, understanding, and knowledge that guide us to interpret our surroundings. In other words, our mind continuously seeks to find similarities between personal history and the situation at hand. Naturally, the reality is always fresh and new but depending on our own approach toward it, our personal response and interpretation can vary a great deal. Everything is put into a relationship and we are the only point of reference. What we do not understand, we cannot expect either. Similarly, things that we have a limited experience of can give us great surprises.

We always have to live and respond to the world around us. Still, we do not have perfect information and interpretation available. This creates the churn and drama involved with human life—thanks to our own imperfectness and ignorance. All it takes is us, and it has everything to do with us and nothing to do with third parties or the circumstances surrounding us. The fairness and unfairness are just results of our own thinking and perception and they are in relation to our own "reality." And because our own reality evolves over time, it seems that there is nothing constant and permanent in fairness. It is only a relative, subjective concept without any objective significance—a purely subjective illusion.