# Rightness
- URL: https://www.petrikajander.com/rightness/
- Author: Petri Kajander
- Date: 2004-11-22
- Language: en
- Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhIXuzdXFog

Facts are very important on our time. We live surrounded by lots of information and knowledge. Most of the data around us is not wisdom but more or less processed bits and pieces of information. We are bound to make decisions and jump to conclusions every day. Our understanding and perception is limited, but still we draw conclusions. We pick sides and present our truth as the universal one. Seldom, if ever, do we realize that our subjective point of view is not shared face value by anyone else. It is actually impossible, because everyone has his or her own way of seeing and understanding the world. Our own experiences and knowledge define how we interpret situations and items. Therefore, our own "truth" or rightness is totally unique, subjective.

Still we assume that everybody shares the same values and standards we do. Of course they understand things in a similar manner to the way we understand them. It is so obvious! How can anyone not see the truth and the underlying issues?

This is why it is so easy to say that something is right or wrong. We assume things that do not exist. Actually, it does not matter, because everything is relative. What changes and defines the value weighting are the assumptions out of which the relative judgment is made. These we cannot explicitly define and describe to others—they are embedded in us. If only everybody had the same assumptions and objective facts of the situations and issues, then we could consider making value calls. This is not possible and, therefore, the world is full of chaos and blaming. Everybody is right and wrong at the same time—only in their subjective way. There is no objective absolute truth from which to validate the real standing point.

Rightness is built deep inside us. We need to manifest our excellence and cleverness. We want to demonstrate our capabilities and knowledge. It is important to us to show that we have acknowledged and understood the issue. We want to gain acceptance and recognition from others. Rightness is a very common and often hidden way of achieving this. Seldom is it about the issues themselves— they are just the means for the actual business of getting self-satisfaction. Rightness is often about power struggle and self-justification. We want to prove that we can win and be superior to others, we were right!

A harder lesson to learn is how to acknowledge the rightness of a situation but let it go without having to prove it to others. Another way to express this would be to say that we feel that we have been mistreated or something is unfair. In the situation, we did not have a chance to prove ourselves and show what we regarded as the right thing or proper solution. They may regard us as weak or stupid because we did not claim our position and or stand up for ourselves. Few of us have the guts and the wisdom to give way. The wise do not have to prove anything. Being right itself serves no purpose. It is totally useless and a waste of resources and energy. Why bother with something we already know? Wouldn't it be better to focus on more important issues that bear real significance? Next time you have an inner urge to be right, consider why you are about to act the way you intend to act.Is it purely to achieve the objective or, rather, to prove yourself?

To be right, to be wrong, and just to be. What is the right  
way?