Focus on Life™

Talking with David McMillan about trust, knowledge vs. wisdom, and time.

 

 Episode 2 [33:35m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

We all know people who are constantly late. Likewise we can point people who are always too busy or ‘doing it later’, which seldom occurs. Funnily enough we still all have the same 24 hours per day. That’s something we have in common—no exceptions.

Busyness is an excuse. There is always the same amount of time for everyone. It is just a matter how we use the time available to us. When someone tells you that they don’t have the time right now or they are ‘too busy’ what they really are saying is that they have other priorities that are more important at that moment. It is always about priorities and never about the time itself. When you understand this point it can improve your life significantly. Are you appreciating your current moment the best possible way for you and for others? If not then you better consider more carefully your time management.

How much time do you spend talking about doing things—instead of doing them? Explaining and describing your tasks and future undertakings will not get them done. If you are truly occupied you do not have the time to talk about doing something, you simply are carrying them out. Multitasking is also often a good time waster. What might seem to be an efficient way to do things may in actuality result many things done poorly. A focused and intensive effort often enables you to get things swiftly over with and to move on for your other priorities. Don’t take a short concentration span and efficiency as interchangeable terms—they are not. Starting lots of things and finishing only a few is not a good track record for getting things done. You also are wasting a lot of energy for the unfinished business that keeps you occupied until you give them up as wasted efforts.

How to avoid piling up plenty of work for later days that never seem to arrive? Act at once. When you read your email do something about it immediately. Don’t postpone and read it twice or even a third time before doing the required actions, even if it just means simply deleting the mail. When you learn to do things properly at once you save a lot of time for your other things. Also carrying out tasks as they arrive makes it is easier to handle your workload. Seldom we expect to have ‘more time’ available for us in the future than currently.

And the most important time saver is a very simple but difficult concept called: “no”. If you don’t like something indicate it straight away. Delaying the moment of truth does not help anyone. It gets the easier the more accustomed you become to signal early on your opinions about something. Is there any better way to save time than by refusing to engage in something that is not for you in the first place? Time management is easy, learning the lessons may take some time. It is all about how we appreciate and value our efforts and of others—by prioritising.

We are all after happiness but seldom find it but only for a few glances or passing moments. Most of the time we are seeking to gain it via different things, people, or situations. We try to reproduce the moments and experiences we already had or we are just randomly trying to imitate someone else’s life with their choices. And all these methods fail to provide us anything but suffering and continuous seeking of happiness—they all are external to us.

Happiness is a state of mind that is independent of the circumstances or our surroundings. It is our natural state of being that we have learned to ignore while growing up. We have substituted the internal happiness for objects and desires external to us. They are conditional and related to some activities or specific points in time. What is common to all of these is that they are not present right now. They are projected to the future. This type of happiness is something that you’re always waiting for. Your constant mode is to achieve and ‘earn’ your happiness by actions or circumstances. In other words you are living in illusions filled by your expectations. Disappointments are a frequent visitor when you are dealing with your future projections based on your expected outcomes of the future situations or events. How much in control of your life you really are?

This ‘when..then’ -type of conditioning is very convincing but it is not really living. It’s about building dream castles and denying the moment. You are saying that I’m not happy right now and I’m substituting this moment for another one in the future. You are after the carrot that is always attached to the current moment—the stick stays in the future with the appealing prize as well. This takes many forms. We may prefer to work overtime and then compensate it back in the holidays. Or we are accumulating substantial wealth that we are hoping to spend after retirement. How can you enjoy your life later if you cannot do it now?

Happiness is not a destination—it is a journey. If you are not comfortable being in the journey you are suffering in the destination as well. Life is about experiencing and enjoying every moment you have. It requires that you are comfortable with uncertainty and change. We can only be happy when we have learned to accept the things that we cannot change and regard every passing moment as a gift that has some valuable lessons and experiences to give us. Only when being is enough you can be happy. As long as you need to achieve or become you are not going to find happiness. Life is about change and being in the moment—exploring the unknown.

We tend to be very practical in our thinking. It all culminates into question—how? How am I going to do it? How is it possible? How did you do it? Many questions and very little answers. If you were to know the means you would not bother to ask—you would just do it. But how have you done it in the past—without the answers before the action, that is?

One person’s impossible is other person’s business as usual. What’s the difference? A point of view—the other person cannot imagine a solution based on his/her past experiences, knowledge and understanding while for the other there is no mystery because it is part of his/her everyday life (understanding). In other words the doer believes and the doubter does not.

Ask a successful entrepreneur how he managed to do it, and often you may not find specific answers. They will emphasise their vision, passion, and dedication—they believed 100 per cent what they we about to create. And more importantly, they had the strong will and confidence in themselves that they can make it to happen, no matter what. And after all, how could you know beforehand how to do things that you have not done before? If you were to do only those things that you have done earlier, you would repeat yourself. So, is there any other way to create something new?

Your thinking is based on your past knowledge. We only know what we know, and we see and hear only what we know. Worries are produced in our mind and only by our mind. It is a closed system that exists only when you are thinking (of it or something else). While you are in the middle of some intensive action, you do not have time to think. You have to act. Try to think while hitting the ball in the golf court and you certainly do not make a dream swing.

Often thinking substitutes the action, and makes the realisation of our goals more difficult. It is not that one does not need to define the goals and plan things in advance, but it is important to realise when it is the time to believe on what one is doing and start to walk the talk (or the thought). Mind can produce different scenarios endlessly. Those what-ifs and hows have only one problem–they do not match with the outside reality. Only by starting to move one can keep a bicycle stable–the same applies to our lives as well. Paralysis by analysis cumulates the worries but does not provide any remedy for the underlying issues.

A different matter is when it is a right time to consider the how-question. If you want to make something big and major, it is not very wise to start by thinking how you are going to realise it. This would only result that you are not going to vision such a grand ideas and objectives after all. The road looks very cumbersome and also the visibility is very poor. You start to doubt and very soon the great venture has been turned into a farce—and all this can happen just in your mind! A sailor does not know the weather conditions for his entire route before starting to cross the Atlantic. He certainly knows where he’s heading and why he is doing it. He even may have a clear vision how he is going to sail the route and how long it is going to take. He is confident on his skills and competences to make it to happen. The how-question does not come to halt the action. In a word he believes himself.

Many times not doing is worse than doing something. While you are not making any progress you are still doing something—being in the same spot. Circling around the same area certainly consumes lots of energy but the overall impact may not be exactly what you wanted to have. Taking the first step is often the hardest. The sooner you do it the easier the consequent paces are. And like always before in your life you will figure out how to do it after all. How you did it? -is the question you can try to answer—afterwards. Just do it!

(See also Reverse Confidence )

Our greatest excuse is time. Either we do not have enough of
it or we have too much of it. Still, we can only live now, for-
ever. Future is only an illusion we project based on our experi-
ences and understanding. Past is a regenerated memory and
experience collection we re-produce according to our current
understanding and point of view. All this can only happen
right now. And still they are all only pure image forms—
nothing else.

We continuously fool ourselves. We play this game by say-
ing to ourselves that we will do this or that and gain or
progress in a specific manner in the future. But all this is done
in a way that implicitly says we are currently lacking some-
thing and will do the hard part later. Time is our excuse: “I
need time to develop/study and so on.” This would be fine if
we really would deliver on what we promised. Unfortunately,
we often change our mind along the process. It is more
important (i.e., easier) to be in the constant mode of changing
than actually achieving or being.

We escape the current moment almost all the time. We are
not happy about how we are at the moment and, therefore, we
like to comfort ourselves by saying that this is not the real me
but wait an X amount of time, and I will be this. This game is
endless. Either we crave the past or envision an imaginary
dream world of the future.

When do we have time to actually be? Being requires that
we also see and hear in the moment. It requires unbiased,
objective observation and facing reality as it is, right now. No
bias toward the past or the future—only the bare truth. Have
you ever realized who you really are or appear to be?

Everything with a form and shape falls into the trinity of cre-
ation, sustenance, and dissolution. These three states are
inevitable and they materialize in time-space. Each manifes-
tation is a child of its age; it uses the concepts, structures, and
ways of the current relative reality. It has a limited existence
and relevance as well. Nothing lasts forever in time-space.

It is a poor representation and characterization when
something that has no shape or form has to be presented in
static and descriptive terms that automatically limit its
dynamic nature (i.e., real essence) to abstraction. This relative
manifestation is bound to its surroundings and can be inter-
preted only in its original environment and nature (also in
time).

This means that any attempt that tries to capture some-
thing beyond time-space limitations is doomed to fail. At
best, we are capable of providing approximations that observe
only a part of the concept in question—never the entire con-
cept itself.

A metaphor to illustrate the point: filming a live event can
only capture a part of the real action, not the smell, atmos-
phere, and other parts of the live event itself that took place.
More importantly, filming cannot reproduce the actual activ-
ity—it can only describe and capture a limited part of it (i.e.,
some of the visual aspects).

The relevance is that we stick to these representations and
give them meanings they originally never had. They start to
live a life of their own. They do not compare with the actual
essence they were used to represent. A replica never becomes
better; it does not exceed the original.
How about we stop chasing the shadows and focus on the
source instead?

All there is,
is right here and just now;
Don’t wait,
don’t travel,
shift forward or delay;
Postpone to escape,
move to forget;
Still it does not matter—
all there is,
is right here and just now.

Pre-set for presence,
and set free,
or reset.
To be and not to be—together,
is the key.
Live real and
realize,
right here and just now.

Cannot force,
cannot push,
no way to rush;
Distant yourself,
just now and right here,
for two beings,
aligned into one;
Living together,
peacefully and in harmony,
without fights,
of dominance.

Presence is intense,
only in one,
with full knowledge,
and understanding,
of right here and just now;
To be—always,
and even without,
a physical presence,
makes sense,
only,
right here and just now.

Goes back only a short while,
forgets,
ignores,
leaves blank,
the things we did,
and are not proud about;

All the experiences,
of misery,
darkness,
abuse,
hate,
fear,
and betrayal,
we have not committed,
if you ask from your memory;

Still something in you,
reminds,
and remembers.
It tries to give you,
hints,
tips,
and kind notes,
but often we leave,
those without a blink,
turn the blind eye,
and hide away;

Opportunities come,
and go,
to settle the accounts,
straight,
leave our mark,
and balance the past;

Persistence of memory,
hidden deep,
and hard,
not easy by far,
is to bring into sunshine,
the old dusty,
deeds,
we rather would,
leave and bury deep;

Our memory is short,
and not for trusted,
feelings and the body,
better guides,
for the light and
the record straight;

Do not waste time,
to settle the accounts;
Your feelings lead,
to the deep mines,
of your secrets,
and sides,
way back,
far away,
you should stay
—awake.

We claim to be so busy. What does it really mean, and is it
actually possible?

Being busy means that we are occupied at the moment.
Therefore, we are intensively carrying out the task at hand
and focusing our undivided attention to accomplish this task.
If we really are occupied and in a hurry, we need to concen-
trate and get rid of the tasks one at a time in order to move to
the next one. A metaphor from the computer world would be
a processor who is either idle or busy, never in between.

In ordinary language, our busyness (any relation to busi-
ness?) means something else. We mean that we should do or
achieve a lot of things in a certain time period. Most of the
time, however, we are not actually occupied in a way that
requires our undivided concentration and attention. Our
busyness has nothing to do with achieving and accomplishing
things. We simply mean that there is something in the future
we would prefer to be doing than what we are doing at that
particular moment. For instance, we have been occupied in a
meeting and now we are headed to the next task. We get stuck
in traffic, but we are not occupied by the traffic because our
mind is urging us to jump ahead and skip this unproductive
moment. Being in traffic is something we would rather not
do—we would much rather be accomplishing the next task.
This is how we are kept “busy.” Similarly, when we are finally
taking care of the next task, we are often not occupied here
either, but thinking about yet another task on our list.

Busyness is our own creation. It has nothing to do with the
real world and actual accomplishment and achievement.
Busyness simply consumes our time and makes us worry
about the future. We trade the current moment for something
we have no influence and control over—the unknown future.

We ignore the now time and, above all, get stressed over
something we can, at that moment, do nothing about. “Being
busy” does not help speed up the traffic while we drive to
another meeting or fast forward the current appointment if
we would prefer to be at the next occasion. Paradoxically,
when we are really accomplishing something that requires our
attention, we cannot be busy—we have no time to think
about “being busy”—we just carry out the task. Therefore, we
should forget the whole concept of busyness and focus on just
doing the things we have at hand.

Looking at our daily life from the outset, we are not really
occupied. Most of our time goes to moving from one place to
another or physically doing something—seldom is our full
and undivided attention required to do something. We actu-
ally have plenty of time to enjoy the moment and observe the
world around us. Stop being busy and occupy yourself for the
actual moment—you might even learn something new.
Busyness directs our attention to the future, which is just an
illusion created by us—it’s not real since we can only live in
the moment. And you are not busy if you have time to think
about being busy.

It’s funny that we desire to travel through time. Besides self-
ish interest, what purpose would it serve? We are actually time
travelers all the time. Or should I say channel surfers?

We get carried away either by thinking about our past or
piling up with dreams of the future. These two activities take
most of our time. The actual now moment we are currently
experiencing is something we would rather not like to have.
It’s far better and safer to sail in our dreams, where all the out-
comes are already known and we can speculate with endless
what-if scenarios. The future is even better. For us it has not
happened yet and, therefore, we can make it up any way we
desire. Well, almost. The only limitation is that we cannot just
dream about anything of which we have no knowledge. For
example, in medieval times people did not dream about hav-
ing cars and flying around the world in airplanes. So dream-
ing is also quite boring. All the outcomes are predictable in
one way or another—like LEGO blocks that can only be set
up in a certain way based on their shapes.

Our channel surfing concerns the current living moment.
We seldom stay in the channel. We’d rather jump on and off
many times in a second. This happens by switching either to the
dream or the history channel. Reality TV is something we pre-
fer to consume as a recorded version, just to be on the safe side.

Still, all the action happens in the reality mode. We cannot
change our history and cannot predict the future. We have to
do all the things right now. The paradox is that the only
unpredictable (and therefore nonboring) moment is the fresh
now time, what we are all the time experiencing. And the best
part is that it’s interactive. We can take part in all the activities
and get involved. It’s amazing how many of us are not taking
up this opportunity. People would rather switch to old classics
or sci-fi stories that have predictable endings. They’d rather
opt for something that smells, tastes, and sounds like real life
but is not. Artificial life seems to be the best act in town.

Considering the low ratings for actually living in the
moment, it is amazing that people would even dream of time
traveling. What would they do then if they cannot live now?
Sure it’s a more interactive TV show to go for the future and
know that you are able to come back to the original time
whenever things start to get too serious (or should I say real?).
Time travel would be just another way of surfing channels—
just a sportier version compared to staring at a glass box or
daydreaming from the sofa.

Nevertheless, the basic fact is that we always figure out
new ways to escape reality. We’d rather either skip to our own
natural channels or use the manmade “entertainment”
options. When was the last time you really watched some-
thing on the TV or listened to the radio? Most of the time, we
are desperate to fill up any silent moments by whatever back-
ground noise from TV, radio, or MP3 players we can find.
Still, the fact is that you cannot avoid living in the moment—
you can only pretend you’re not there. How good our skills are
determine how good our private scam is. Our consciousness is
always on, and it is permanently stuck on the reality channel.
And most of us just cannot live without constantly surfing
channels. Restless 24/7 escape from the reality—out now!