Focus on Life™

Is your life in distress – maybe your career, personal direction, relationships, work, or all the above? A cul-de-sac can be a major issue with no easy way out. Still, the answer might be closer than you have realised.

Our reality is the product of our own thinking. It is built upon our assumptions, beliefs, past experiences, and knowledge. In other words, we often repeat the same record over and over again, and even without noticing it. Alas, this is the reason for the unbearable difficulties and ‘impossibilities’. We are stuck.

Instead of looking into future with great distress and trying to work one’s way out, how about pausing for a while and truly looking around you? Where are you and how did you end up here? Where did you come from and why did you choose to be here now? Don’t be surprised if you just simply don’t know, or you don’t have a good answer. That’s how it often is — life just happens if we are not proactively making conscious decisions. We drift and react on daily basis; days turn into weeks and weeks into months, even years. No wonder things may start to seem and feel the same!

Understanding where you are coming from often helps to get a bigger picture of the choices and experiences leading to the current stage. But don’t take it for granted that you have to continue in a similar manner. Each moment you have a chance to make a difference and do something else. We do not have to repeat ourselves like robots —day-in and day-out. Many times the only way to realise the repetition is a major distress factor coming into our lives. It wakes us up since we simply cannot continue like nothing happened. The old record is broken — it just does not play again. We are lost.

If you acknowledge where you are coming from and definitely know that there is no way going forward it leaves at least one possibility left: the current moment. One can focus on the present moment, and try to figure out and observe the surrounding reality. After all it may not exactly be like one has thought it would be — the same old and boring as it ‘used’ to be. But since we only know what we know, it might first be a bit difficult to see something else than what we are expecting to experience. However, there is one great advantage that we haven’t used yet, and that’s exactly the discomfort factor. We know for sure that there has to be something else since things aren’t working the old way again! We have nothing to loose.

If you cannot change the circumstances, the past, and the future has not happened yet, you still have the current moment. So, you have something! And surely you have plenty of more as well. Many experiences, personal assets and resources that you have accumulated along the way in forms of developed talents, skills, knowledge, and so on. In another words you do not have to start from scratch like a newborn baby into this world. You have something to build upon. Maybe not exactly like you used to do it in the past, but perhaps even something better than before?

Getting nowhere and being just here is a great point to start to create something new. It’s very easy to change the direction and do something ‘unpredictable’. Find again the things you like to do and are passionate about. Start to live again a life that is meaningful and full of fun – just by purely being and doing things that are enjoyable. After all, why should we do things we do not like or believe in? It is just so easy to forget to enjoy our everyday life until we have almost entirely lost the track of the whole concept. Then it is time again to rediscover the joy of living and do something else. Life is not about achieving but about being in a manner that is fulfilling and content every moment. A distress can be a blessing in disguise. Carpe diem!

We know only what we know. This sounds very simple and naïve but still it is a powerful statement. It also defines what we do not know, which is very important to realise as well. One could say that we limit our world and experiences by our awareness.

Learning new and being open to new opportunities and possibilities is not easy. This can be clearly seen from the above axiom, or just by looking around you and observing how the people you know carry on having their usual habits and routines—often unchanged for decades. As if this would not be enough to restrict and narrow our potential we do it also proactively, and others do it for us.

Imagine that you are faced with a new situation that is somewhat awkward or cumbersome. To whom will you tell about it? Quickly you scan through your friends and decide to share the information with people who can handle the news. In another words you do not bother upsetting the persons, who you feel with your past experience, would be shocked and would have hard time taking in the news. Everybody knows a relative or a person who is very uptight and square with his/her world-view. With those persons you are very careful how you put your words and what kind of issues are appropriate discussion topics. You filter your interaction and communication proactively, subconsciously.

So, who limits and what? Is it you or the rest of the world?

The view,
so vivid and exciting,
full of life,
happiness and joy,
sometimes sorrow, often pain,
from limited knowledge and
ignorance,
glances still;

Stepping back,
enlarging the scope,
gaining new foothold,
spectating,
from a distance,
different angle;

Firmly pacing,
knowing,
from here I must walk,
these curtains must fall,
something must go;

Giving away,
the known,
to make space,
for the unknown,
letting go,
to fall,
the facade,
so dear and attached,
which does not hold,
it must go;

The one behind,
was an angle of mine,
based on defects,
that was all,
nothing really at all,
but it was all,
I knew.

The world we know exists only in our mind. It is real for us,
but it is not to be found elsewhere. We are dependent on our
sensations coming from our five main doors (i.e., sight, hear-
ing, smell, taste, touch). The world for us is constructed ulti-
mately in our mind. For example, colors do not exist in the
physical world. All objects are colorless. Similarly, our eyes
work like lenses in a camera. They get a mere two-dimen-
sional picture as any other lens. It is our mind that puts all this
together and creates the world for us. This abstraction is a
three-dimensional spatial world where time is applied as well.
It is an illusion, like matter. There is no such thing as matter.
Studying a bit of physics, from Newton’s revelations to
Einstein and quantum mechanics, verifies these points.

In short, the great maya, illusion, is that the world we
know is only a thought, an idea—it is a picture with many
objects but, nevertheless, a picture—nothing more, nothing
less. No matter what you do, it is all within your mind—even
when external to your body, it’s still within your mind.

How do you know that you are dreaming while asleep?
You don’t. It is as real as anything for you—once again a mere
thought or an idea but sound proof that our mind is capable
of constructing a three-dimensional world even without
external sensations. Nevertheless pure pictures that are real
for us.

How can you wake up from the illusion while awake? You
cannot. No matter what you do, even when you realize the
truth, your mind still determines to draw the illusion for you.
It just does not have the same impact anymore. Living in a
world of ideas or created objects (i.e., pictures, thoughts) does
not put us in direct touch with the real existence. We are tied
to our sensations. Those are our only link to the existence.
Our mind constructs a derivative for us—its interpretation of
the sensations, which we then perceive and become aware of.
We only know these perceptions—nothing about the real
existence.

We are conservative by nature. We tend to enclose ourselves.
Some of the fences we build are physical and more tangible,
while others are more abstract. We want to protect ourselves
from the outside world and its renewal.

External fences are easier to conceive. They have many
faces, from muscle building to creating physical security
measures, all the way to building wealth and monetary riches.
Mental fences are harder to pinpoint and the most difficult
for us to realize. We hide behind our own habits, traditions,
mental and conceptual principles and rules, ways of behavior,
and subconscious patterns. These mental barriers limit our
perception and understanding of the realities of the world.
They filter the outside world for us and give us our sense of
security and control. But by doing so, they also prevent us
from renewing and developing ourselves. Our existence is
based on our self-perception, and the fences are guarding us
from anything that is not known and familiar to us—the
unpleasantness of the external world.

Life is breathing. It has three different phases—inhalation,
short pause, and exhalation. Internal and external action—
visible and invisible. Active and passive.

Breathing is living. Its intensity varies with scale. Some
breathe faster than others—their perceptions and realizations
are relative to their tempo. Small beings (e.g., cells) have dif-
ferent breathing cycles than large beings (with larger mass),
such as humans, when compared to each other. Still, the rela-
tive cycle is intact. This can be realized only in cross-scale
comparisons.

Life is a realization process (i.e., existence/manifestation)
in time. In other words, life is relative motion where the sub-
ject’s internal frame of reference is relational to its breathing
cycle. A self-conscious being has the potential to experience
various cycles at once (interlinked) and focus within a cycle in
any of the three directions. The subjective intensity remains
constant, but in relation to an external reference frame, signif-
icant relative time adjustments or movements can be experi-
enced.

All there is,
is right here and just now;
Don’t wait,
don’t travel,
shift forward or delay;
Postpone to escape,
move to forget;
Still it does not matter—
all there is,
is right here and just now.

Pre-set for presence,
and set free,
or reset.
To be and not to be—together,
is the key.
Live real and
realize,
right here and just now.

Cannot force,
cannot push,
no way to rush;
Distant yourself,
just now and right here,
for two beings,
aligned into one;
Living together,
peacefully and in harmony,
without fights,
of dominance.

Presence is intense,
only in one,
with full knowledge,
and understanding,
of right here and just now;
To be—always,
and even without,
a physical presence,
makes sense,
only,
right here and just now.

Nothing to declare,
nothing to say,
nothing to hear,
nothing to think;

Only silence,
accompanying friend,
no one to miss,
no one to long,
lots of actions,
many memories,
tons of experiences,
nothing to look back for;

Nothing is the same,
everything is the same,
they are not relevant;

Just being,
no expectations,
no demands,
no claims,
no_thing;

From here,
always here,
from one moment,
to another,
observing,
registering,
no time,
just here,
right now;

No sadness,
no joy,
no feelings,
no regrets,
ready to leave,
ready to stay,
already being;

Calm,
relaxed,
smooth,
peaceful,
in harmony;

Empty Nest.

Facts are very important on our time. We live surrounded by
lots of information and knowledge. Most of the data around
us is not wisdom but more or less processed bits and pieces of
information. We are bound to make decisions and jump to
conclusions every day. Our understanding and perception is
limited, but still we draw conclusions. We pick sides and pres-
ent our truth as the universal one. Seldom, if ever, do we real-
ize that our subjective point of view is not shared face value by
anyone else. It is actually impossible, because everyone has his
or her own way of seeing and understanding the world. Our
own experiences and knowledge define how we interpret situ-
ations and items. Therefore, our own “truth” or rightness is
totally unique, subjective.

Still we assume that everybody shares the same values and
standards we do. Of course they understand things in a simi-
lar manner to the way we understand them. It is so obvious!
How can anyone not see the truth and the underlying issues?

This is why it is so easy to say that something is right or
wrong. We assume things that do not exist. Actually, it does
not matter, because everything is relative. What changes and
defines the value weighting are the assumptions out of which
the relative judgment is made. These we cannot explicitly
define and describe to others—they are embedded in us. If
only everybody had the same assumptions and objective facts
of the situations and issues, then we could consider making
value calls. This is not possible and, therefore, the world is full
of chaos and blaming. Everybody is right and wrong at the
same time—only in their subjective way. There is no objective
absolute truth from which to validate the real standing point.

Rightness is built deep inside us. We need to manifest
our excellence and cleverness. We want to demonstrate our
capabilities and knowledge. It is important to us to show
that we have acknowledged and understood the issue. We
want to gain acceptance and recognition from others.
Rightness is a very common and often hidden way of
achieving this. Seldom is it about the issues themselves—
they are just the means for the actual business of getting
self-satisfaction. Rightness is often about power struggle
and self-justification. We want to prove that we can win and
be superior to others, we were right!

A harder lesson to learn is how to acknowledge the right-
ness of a situation but let it go without having to prove it to
others. Another way to express this would be to say that we
feel that we have been mistreated or something is unfair. In
the situation, we did not have a chance to prove ourselves and
show what we regarded as the right thing or proper solution.
They may regard us as weak or stupid because we did not
claim our position and or stand up for ourselves. Few of us
have the guts and the wisdom to give way. The wise do not
have to prove anything. Being right itself serves no purpose. It
is totally useless and a waste of resources and energy. Why
bother with something we already know? Wouldn’t it be bet-
ter to focus on more important issues that bear real signifi-
cance? Next time you have an inner urge to be right, consider
why you are about to act the way you intend to act.Is it purely
to achieve the objective or, rather, to prove yourself?

To be right, to be wrong, and just to be. What is the right
way?

When are we very positively surprised and overwhelmed?
When something out of the ordinary and unexpected hap-
pens, something we have not thought about—something
fresh and new to us. This happens outside of our (previous)
experience and knowledge, and it makes us happy and joyful.
We would love to be more spontaneous, but it is so hard and
difficult. Why?

We love to plan things. It is great to think ahead and imag-
ine the details and occasions we want to accomplish and live
by. Planning is something we do naturally. Most of it is done
purely for practical reasons and for everyday routines. We
need to schedule and arrange our life in a way so we can take
care of our obligations and duties. Worrying is a special type
of planning—it concentrates on the negative issues and their
potential occurrences. We are not actually “planning” for an
occurrence, but being afraid and speculating about all the pos-
sible outcomes and issues that could happen. A positive type
of planning is dreaming. We dream about great things that we
would like to achieve and gain, moments and experiences that
we think would make us happy. Nevertheless, all of this is just
our mind game. Some of it is practical and necessary, but
most of it is a total waste of energy and effort. Actually, it can
prevent us from experiencing more and greater things than
we are ever capable of dreaming (or planning) about.

Our plans are derived from our experience and knowledge.
They project the future as we can imagine it. This makes the
future predictable and “ordinary” for us. We can imagine it
and dream about it—live it in our mind beforehand. It cannot
include anything that we cannot know about. Certainly it has
nothing to do with the reality. We have no means to plan the
future. Still, planning often makes our life “boring.” And it
makes it feel like every day is the same and repeats the same
patterns over and over again. No day is any different, and
nothing new happens. Sound familiar?

When we plan things, we are preparing to live according to
our plan, which means that we are not open for the moment
or anything new. We live according to our already thought
through plan, merely executing and implementing that plan.
Like robots that “think” what happens next and follow the
preprogrammed plan, we do not actually live in the moment.
This makes life boring and predictable. We “hypnotize” and
make ourselves believe our plan, and then we see and hear
what we want to hear and see—according to our own manu-
script—we create a catch-22. How can we experience some-
thing new if we always live according to our existing
knowledge?

Sometimes we run into an interesting person or do some-
thing crazy. These are the times when we live in the moment.
We are not planning but experiencing and letting life carry us
forward. Life offers us many great surprises and opportunities
every day, but we have to be awake and ready to acknowledge
them. Often we appear too busy or occupied to carry out the
daily activities we have planned and expected to accomplish
everything. But it is too scary not to plan. It implicitly tells us
that we might not be in control, something we prefer not to
experience. We would rather plan and know what to expect. It
is safer this way, even though often our mind creates the mis-
ery and sadness because we are too afraid to welcome some-
thing new. It is the unknown we are so scared of, that which
we cannot plan for or know beforehand.

This is the great step we have to take. Once we make it
over the threshold, we realize that all the worrying was for
nothing. Life actually becomes more interesting and exciting
when we are open for the opportunities. Plans are unneces-
sary because life often turns out differently than how we had
imagined it. Being free and living in the moment give us a
tremendous amount of energy to experience and observe
because we are not tied up in planning for the future. Reality
is an even better planner than we are; it is the only thing that
can give us positive surprises. We cannot plan our own joy
and happiness—and we are even less capable of planning to
surprise ourselves! Plan less and experience more. Is that a
plan?