Focus on Life™

Talking with David McMillan about trust, knowledge vs. wisdom, and time.

 

 Episode 2 [33:35m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Credit is something we prefer to get—at least when we want to pursue new projects and need financing. But how do you gain recognition and support for your projects? Are you looking for in other people what in actuality should lie within yourself?

Credit is a recognition of your past achievements and track record. It is your history talking loud and clear by your actions and deeds. You represent the things you have done and let other people to evaluate your performance by your past success. Where you come from is a good indicator to where you are heading as well, but not more—we change all the time. A good track record means nothing if you are not performing any more. Like in the fashion business: you’re only as good as your latest collection.

When you talk with your bank manager she is not giving you credit—you already have it. She just extrapolates your past achievements as a token and promise of a future success. In other words you are trusted because of your history. No wonder it is very hard for people doing things the first time!

And don’t take your credibility as just some ‘great’ achievements you have accomplished. You are a walking history of your past experiences. Everything you do, talk, think, express, wear, and even your very presence broadcast the message about you. It is not solely the clothes you wear nor any other single item. Some people can manage to get things done with their shorts and old t-shirt on where for others a nice expensive suit cannot do the trick. Do not confuse competence and experience with the appearance. It is easy to make window dressing but a bit harder to accomplish real action points. Which one you prefer: talking about the things you are going to achieve or demonstrate the things you already have done as a proof of your competence?

Small things lead to great achievements. Often it is more important to start doing things than just to wait for the perfect time and circumstances. Your actions are a good proxy of your intentions and dedication. Are you willing to take risks and stand behind your words? Wisdom is something that is derived from first-hand experience. Knowledge can be learned but it is not a proof of profound understanding and sound execution skills. Many things look easy but are a bit more complex when you get involved with the details. Credibility comes from the things you have indicated of doing and later have accomplished successfully. It is a sign of trust given by others of your future intentions based on your past experiences. You are your own credit!

We like to have our freedom. It is great and fun to explore and extend our boundaries. We love to take the credit for our actions, but only selectively. Positive consequences are naturally ours to claim but what about the not so desired effects?

Freedom and responsibility go hand-in-hand—the greater the freedom the greater the responsibility as well. Our current society does not encourage personal freedom. In practice we are sanctioned, monitored, and restrained in almost all aspects of life. We have learned to behave obediently and not to question the behaviour patterns or norms of the society. Like Goethe once said: “None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.”

We have created an artificial layer that is expected to protect individuals from harms and consequences of their personal actions. This has created a culture where people have become accustomed (or learned) to be passive and not to take action themselves. We expect someone else to tell us what to do or help us out of our own problems. This has come so far that we even regard we have the right and the others’ the moral obligation to unilaterally support us. We have isolated ourselves from the effects of our actions.

Our personal initiatives and responsibility are very limited, but so is our freedom as well. We have given up our rights in order to gain something for nothing. We prefer to have it easy and let others to bear the consequences for us. Unfortunately this is a zero-sum game in an aggregate level and as a result everybody is worse off. There are no free lunches—there is always someone paying the bill.

Isolating individuals from their actions’ consequences is a double-edged sword. It creates an illusion of safety and protection but at the same time it removes the control from the very person. And this creates uncertainty, fear, and self-esteem issues among others. Simply we do not feel anymore that the life is in our own hands: we are on top of the issues and have the solutions available for us. Confidence and security build from experience and the knowledge that we have the tools and the means to cope with our circumstances.

It requires practice and experience to become good at something. This means that we have learned something by experimenting and sometimes even making wrong choices that have guided us to do something differently in the future. In other words we have the motivation to keep going and get better. All this requires responsibility. Responsibility is the feedback mechanism that shows us how we are performing and the results of our pursuits. Mastery is only possible for those who are aware of their actions and their consequences.

Look around you—how much responsibility are we taking for our actions?

This site focuses on life. You will find inspirational, thoughtful, mind-provoking, insightful and sometimes artful writings, ideas, visions, and practical knowledge covering various aspects of life based on freedom and pursuit of happiness.

Where to Start?

• Read the Blog for the latest items
• Check some of the popular articles:
  • Happiness
    
  • Time Management
    
  • Responsibility
  • Peace
  • Money is not the wealth
  • Having vs. Being
• See also Fragments of Reality
• Find out Petri’s recommendations for books, music, and movies.

We tend to be very practical in our thinking. It all culminates into question—how? How am I going to do it? How is it possible? How did you do it? Many questions and very little answers. If you were to know the means you would not bother to ask—you would just do it. But how have you done it in the past—without the answers before the action, that is?

One person’s impossible is other person’s business as usual. What’s the difference? A point of view—the other person cannot imagine a solution based on his/her past experiences, knowledge and understanding while for the other there is no mystery because it is part of his/her everyday life (understanding). In other words the doer believes and the doubter does not.

Ask a successful entrepreneur how he managed to do it, and often you may not find specific answers. They will emphasise their vision, passion, and dedication—they believed 100 per cent what they we about to create. And more importantly, they had the strong will and confidence in themselves that they can make it to happen, no matter what. And after all, how could you know beforehand how to do things that you have not done before? If you were to do only those things that you have done earlier, you would repeat yourself. So, is there any other way to create something new?

Your thinking is based on your past knowledge. We only know what we know, and we see and hear only what we know. Worries are produced in our mind and only by our mind. It is a closed system that exists only when you are thinking (of it or something else). While you are in the middle of some intensive action, you do not have time to think. You have to act. Try to think while hitting the ball in the golf court and you certainly do not make a dream swing.

Often thinking substitutes the action, and makes the realisation of our goals more difficult. It is not that one does not need to define the goals and plan things in advance, but it is important to realise when it is the time to believe on what one is doing and start to walk the talk (or the thought). Mind can produce different scenarios endlessly. Those what-ifs and hows have only one problem–they do not match with the outside reality. Only by starting to move one can keep a bicycle stable–the same applies to our lives as well. Paralysis by analysis cumulates the worries but does not provide any remedy for the underlying issues.

A different matter is when it is a right time to consider the how-question. If you want to make something big and major, it is not very wise to start by thinking how you are going to realise it. This would only result that you are not going to vision such a grand ideas and objectives after all. The road looks very cumbersome and also the visibility is very poor. You start to doubt and very soon the great venture has been turned into a farce—and all this can happen just in your mind! A sailor does not know the weather conditions for his entire route before starting to cross the Atlantic. He certainly knows where he’s heading and why he is doing it. He even may have a clear vision how he is going to sail the route and how long it is going to take. He is confident on his skills and competences to make it to happen. The how-question does not come to halt the action. In a word he believes himself.

Many times not doing is worse than doing something. While you are not making any progress you are still doing something—being in the same spot. Circling around the same area certainly consumes lots of energy but the overall impact may not be exactly what you wanted to have. Taking the first step is often the hardest. The sooner you do it the easier the consequent paces are. And like always before in your life you will figure out how to do it after all. How you did it? -is the question you can try to answer—afterwards. Just do it!

(See also Reverse Confidence )

We know only what we know. This sounds very simple and naïve but still it is a powerful statement. It also defines what we do not know, which is very important to realise as well. One could say that we limit our world and experiences by our awareness.

Learning new and being open to new opportunities and possibilities is not easy. This can be clearly seen from the above axiom, or just by looking around you and observing how the people you know carry on having their usual habits and routines—often unchanged for decades. As if this would not be enough to restrict and narrow our potential we do it also proactively, and others do it for us.

Imagine that you are faced with a new situation that is somewhat awkward or cumbersome. To whom will you tell about it? Quickly you scan through your friends and decide to share the information with people who can handle the news. In another words you do not bother upsetting the persons, who you feel with your past experience, would be shocked and would have hard time taking in the news. Everybody knows a relative or a person who is very uptight and square with his/her world-view. With those persons you are very careful how you put your words and what kind of issues are appropriate discussion topics. You filter your interaction and communication proactively, subconsciously.

So, who limits and what? Is it you or the rest of the world?

What’s reality like from eternity’s point of view?

Who talks by silence, does the most.

How can we see something we know nothing about?

We create our reality. The world is only potential possibilities that we actively collapse into our own point of view. We are the observer and the observation. There is nothing external to us—only our consciousness that defines our reality.

We only know what we know. Our only limitations are bound by our own thinking patterns. We do not have to become anything, only be, create.

Current science can prove a lot of this already. Quantum physics is part of the explanations and a new movie is telling about the issue very lively and in an illustrative format: What the bleep do we (k)now?. You can even buy it from Amazon (note that it is region coded to 1 (US and Canada)).

We are conservative by nature. We tend to enclose ourselves.
Some of the fences we build are physical and more tangible,
while others are more abstract. We want to protect ourselves
from the outside world and its renewal.

External fences are easier to conceive. They have many
faces, from muscle building to creating physical security
measures, all the way to building wealth and monetary riches.
Mental fences are harder to pinpoint and the most difficult
for us to realize. We hide behind our own habits, traditions,
mental and conceptual principles and rules, ways of behavior,
and subconscious patterns. These mental barriers limit our
perception and understanding of the realities of the world.
They filter the outside world for us and give us our sense of
security and control. But by doing so, they also prevent us
from renewing and developing ourselves. Our existence is
based on our self-perception, and the fences are guarding us
from anything that is not known and familiar to us—the
unpleasantness of the external world.

Facts are very important on our time. We live surrounded by
lots of information and knowledge. Most of the data around
us is not wisdom but more or less processed bits and pieces of
information. We are bound to make decisions and jump to
conclusions every day. Our understanding and perception is
limited, but still we draw conclusions. We pick sides and pres-
ent our truth as the universal one. Seldom, if ever, do we real-
ize that our subjective point of view is not shared face value by
anyone else. It is actually impossible, because everyone has his
or her own way of seeing and understanding the world. Our
own experiences and knowledge define how we interpret situ-
ations and items. Therefore, our own “truth” or rightness is
totally unique, subjective.

Still we assume that everybody shares the same values and
standards we do. Of course they understand things in a simi-
lar manner to the way we understand them. It is so obvious!
How can anyone not see the truth and the underlying issues?

This is why it is so easy to say that something is right or
wrong. We assume things that do not exist. Actually, it does
not matter, because everything is relative. What changes and
defines the value weighting are the assumptions out of which
the relative judgment is made. These we cannot explicitly
define and describe to others—they are embedded in us. If
only everybody had the same assumptions and objective facts
of the situations and issues, then we could consider making
value calls. This is not possible and, therefore, the world is full
of chaos and blaming. Everybody is right and wrong at the
same time—only in their subjective way. There is no objective
absolute truth from which to validate the real standing point.

Rightness is built deep inside us. We need to manifest
our excellence and cleverness. We want to demonstrate our
capabilities and knowledge. It is important to us to show
that we have acknowledged and understood the issue. We
want to gain acceptance and recognition from others.
Rightness is a very common and often hidden way of
achieving this. Seldom is it about the issues themselves—
they are just the means for the actual business of getting
self-satisfaction. Rightness is often about power struggle
and self-justification. We want to prove that we can win and
be superior to others, we were right!

A harder lesson to learn is how to acknowledge the right-
ness of a situation but let it go without having to prove it to
others. Another way to express this would be to say that we
feel that we have been mistreated or something is unfair. In
the situation, we did not have a chance to prove ourselves and
show what we regarded as the right thing or proper solution.
They may regard us as weak or stupid because we did not
claim our position and or stand up for ourselves. Few of us
have the guts and the wisdom to give way. The wise do not
have to prove anything. Being right itself serves no purpose. It
is totally useless and a waste of resources and energy. Why
bother with something we already know? Wouldn’t it be bet-
ter to focus on more important issues that bear real signifi-
cance? Next time you have an inner urge to be right, consider
why you are about to act the way you intend to act.Is it purely
to achieve the objective or, rather, to prove yourself?

To be right, to be wrong, and just to be. What is the right
way?