Focus on Life™

Talking with David McMillan about silence and humility.

 

 Episode 7 [22:24m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

We love routines and predictability even if we are not openly admitting it. They give us the feeling of security and being in control of issues. Still, we are only thinking that nothing changes while everything around us is in constant move and a state of flux. We just do not register incremental shifts—and therefore we are often taken by surprise with more or less radical consequences.

Business world is a good case in point about continuous change. Organisations tend to get used to their positions and organisational charts showing how the business is structured and is supposed to be run. But customers do not like to repeat things over and over again without improvements or even trying something entirely different. This creates the urge for adjustments and new ideas. If there is no demand there is no organisation either—in the long run. No matter how nice the current business unit, division, or team you are having but if it does not serve any real need anymore it must go.

Voluntary change requires a lot. You need to be active, open, sensitive, and humble for new ideas—even radical ones. In addition, boldness and courage are in great demand in order to carry out the required changes in a swift manner. Detachment is as important for a business organisation as it is for personal development. If you fall in love with your position or routines you will lose the game in the future. Sensitivity for the unknown and being constantly listening and observing are the only ways to ensure that you earn your current leadership position over and over again. Humility is the only friend of success.

Large masses tend to move very slowly first. But even icebergs melt in wrong climate. The same applies to corporations that are looking today’s world through their rose-coloured glasses of past success. They see what they want to see and even pretend not to notice the signals of change. Delaying issues do not make them to disappear—often things just get worse. Massive layoffs and organisational restructurings and turnarounds tell their story of inevitability of change—you either adjust sooner or later or you just simply disappear altogether.

How to remain dynamic and flexible without clinging too much in the past? Focus on your capabilities and competences. Everybody needs to keep learning new skills and enrich their know-how and experience, all the time. If you regard change as a fact of live that enables you to do new things and have exciting opportunities you are less likely in need of panic actions or last-minute reactions. Do you enjoy what you are doing? Are you delivering good value and the best possible quality in your job? We tend to drop the ball way before we admit it to ourselves. We are not motivated and life seems boring, because we are stuck into our routines. This should be a very good warning sign that you have snoozed. Each morning after you wake up draw either a happy or sad smiley in your calendar for a month. Check the results and count the amount of happy faces full of anticipation and excitement for the new day. If you find way too many sad faces you may need to reconsider your priorities—change is only a thought away.

Our life is full of low and high moments. In the great
moments, we have a feeling of being in control and having
some special qualities. In the blue moments, we feel insecure
and imperfect. Usually we reflect our qualities and self-image
based on the activities and outcomes around us. We draw quick
conclusions and create causal relationships with the outcomes
and our own contribution to the events. These evaluations are
subjective and are dependent on our perception of the issues.
Unfortunately, we can only observe things from our perspective
and without better understanding of the actual relationships
and reasons for the matter. This continuous appraisal, which
can be more or less subconscious, cumulates and supports our
own personal development for better or worse.

In the extreme, false, continuous interpretations of situa-
tions often lead to dramatic disappointments and incidents
that restore us to the reality. We have to face the fact that we
might not have been as great or clever as we have thought.
Something unrespectable or unfavorable happens for us that
contradicts our understanding and perception of the reality.
This comes as a shock to us but not really to the people
around us. We are usually the last person to realize this. Our
loved ones and people dear to us may have tried to warn us in
various ways, but we have not taken these indications as
something of great relevance. In other words, our self-image
has let us down.

We cannot escape the fact that we are bound to experience
life with subjective judgment. We are imperfect and our per-
ception of the world is not objective. Our understanding and
perception of the world changes over time. We are more or
less ignorant despite our best intentions. In fact, each human
being is trying his or her best but because we are different, the
degree and level of ignorance varies greatly among human
beings. These differences create the disruption and conflicts
among us. If our perception and knowledge would be totally
aligned, there would not be disputes and issues between us. In
other words, we all would possess exactly the same qualities
and similar understanding of all the issues.

Humbleness means that we are aware we are not perfect.
We admit that “we are only human”—we do make mistakes.
Many of our faults are materialized even when we are not
aware of them. To realize this, we must also comprehend that
other people make mistakes as well. They do not intend to do
so but like us, they simply are not aware of their own short-
comings. They are in the process of learning about them-
selves. Every one of us is in a different position and situation
in this learning process and we need other people and the sur-
rounding world to get us to become aware of and realize our
mistakes.

Almost without exception, we are offended when someone
tries to teach us about our shortcomings. We do not like to
take advice from other people. We should know our own
business better than everyone else, especially when the
response is not very nice or polite. We get emotional or angry
and this can lead to actions and consequences we may regret
later on. From another point of view, our behavior results in
something that offends or is not correct from the other per-
son’s point of view. We may have not intended this but just
simply cannot realize it ourselves.

Humbleness lets us live our lives and learn about our qual-
ities without judging other people in their shortcomings.
Being humble about our own behavior and actions acknowl-
edges that we are like children who are still learning about
life. We are not very knowledgeable, and there are others who
can teach us more. Because we are still so inexperienced and
ignorant, we are in no position to give any advice or offer
opinions of other people’s behavior. We have so much to do
with ourselves that it would be ridiculous to advise others
when we are not capable of coping with our own lives and
being a perfect role model for ourself. A master is responsible
for his or her teachings and, therefore, should advise only in
matters in which he or she completely excels. How many of us
can claim to master life?