Focus on Life™

This is the era of individualism. No matter whether we talk about individuals, nations or international coalitions. Everywhere the separation is the prime directive and the underlying assumption. Still nobody is an isolated island. We only pretend to be separated.

Separation means that there is something that is included and the rest is excluded. It defines limits and polarises its object from its environment. In most of the cases separation is also associated with independence. It is assumed that this separation is outside of its environment and hence it is a self-supporting unit. In reality, this is seldom the case.

Our virtual reality can be easily exposed and revealed. It actually does not really matter whether we consider an individual or a nation. Look around you and observe the world around you. Immediately you see a plenty of products and services. Some of them are crucial for your well-being. Life-supporting elements such as electricity, clean water, and food are the most obvious. Where do they come from? Part of the power is coming from local sources but often oil or other scarce supply is needed. Also you breakfast table is most likely catered with fruits and products around the world. Ever more of our ordinary life is imported elsewhere. Call to a contact centre and you might be redirected to India or other cheaper service location. Visit a retail store and realise that most of the electronics and other products are manufactured in China or Asia.

We need each other. We are dependent on each other. We breath the same air, we drink the same water, we eat the same food. Why we continue to consider ourselves as isolated and independent entities when the reality speaks otherwise? Ignorance and selfishness start already harassing our lives in forms of natural catastrophes and epidemical diseases. Exploiting elsewhere and shutting our eyes does not make the reality go away. We can only fool ourselves — in our mind. Still the reality has its means to give us wake-up calls. A time to stop dreaming?

Suffering or joy,
quest or rest,
happiness or agony,
together or alone,
now or then,
you or me,
here or there,
sun or moon,
sand or sea,
one plus one,
music or art,
history or novel,
writing or verbal,
all the same,
underneath,
different by appearance,
disguised for the most,
of their genuine nature,
pure and simple,
of a thought;

Nevertheless,
varies with persistence,
but follows the same,
pattern of,
coming,
sustaining,
and going;

Always afresh,
never the same,
appearance may stay,
but no thing is the same;

Deep thought,
shallow dream,
clear and sharp,
vague and soft,
fragile or strong,
short or long,
still the same,
real for the one,
illusion for the second,
relative for both,
ideas, all the same.

Is a moment of joy,
a smile or a kind word from a stranger;
Unexpected and spontaneous,
innocent.
Beauty of the vision,
perfectness of the glance,
the vulnerability of the inevitability,
it all happens right here and now.
How to reach for the inner state,
the feeling of comfort and loving kind;
To experience the life,
as it comes;
by humble mind and open arms,
you are always welcome,
I am here to stay.

My lesson is to learn,
the sorrows and the pains;
but also the glimpses of glamour,
and the highest of the scale.

One day happiness will become,
the same as sorrow;
My time will come,
when this is true;
Then I am ready,
and will see;
Two sides of the same coin,
minted into one;
No more happiness,
no more blue;
They are here,
but not for me;
I have learned,
and see them through.

All was for one,
greatness of life;
that beyond the scope,
let us reach;
and finally teach,
to give away,
for all we know,
nothing more to stay.

The stage is different,
and the tools as well.
Good-bye we say,
and leave without a trace.

Happiness
is here to stay.

Often we feel that we are treated unfairly or something hap-
pens that we do not accept as fair. What is fair and what is
not?

Life is neither fair nor unfair. It’s beyond the concept of
“rightness.” It does not judge or prefer anything or anyone—
it just simply is. How can we still feel that we are mistreated?

When you ask different people about their views of fair-
ness, you get totally different answers. Some find similar cir-
cumstances totally acceptable and “right” whereas others see
them as totally unacceptable. Someone’s fairness is another
person’s unfairness. This twist can even happen within our-
self—over time we may start to see past occurrences differ-
ently. So, what has happened then? The situation has not
changed because it has already happened (as we recall it). Our
own interpretation of it has altered.

We are the only ones who can treat ourselves fairly or
unfairly. We put things into a relationship and interpret the
outcome. Our understanding is dependent on our own per-
ception, experience, and subjective interpretation of the mat-
ter. On top of these, we create our own expectations that
project and claim the desired (expected) outcome. Our point
of reference is in relation to our expectations. We “judge” the
fairness in comparison to how we have perceived and pro-
jected the situation. We have certain predetermined plans of
the outcome that are formed based on our personal history
and knowledge. Therefore, different people can wholeheart-
edly claim the opposite points of view—everyone lives in his
or her own reality.

We evolve over time. Our thinking changes and we per-
ceive the world differently. This is the interplay between our
cumulated experiences, understanding, and knowledge that
guide us to interpret our surroundings. In other words, our
mind continuously seeks to find similarities between personal
history and the situation at hand. Naturally, the reality is
always fresh and new but depending on our own approach
toward it, our personal response and interpretation can vary a
great deal. Everything is put into a relationship and we are the
only point of reference. What we do not understand, we can-
not expect either. Similarly, things that we have a limited
experience of can give us great surprises.

We always have to live and respond to the world around
us. Still, we do not have perfect information and interpreta-
tion available. This creates the churn and drama involved with
human life—thanks to our own imperfectness and ignorance.
All it takes is us, and it has everything to do with us and noth-
ing to do with third parties or the circumstances surrounding
us. The fairness and unfairness are just results of our own
thinking and perception and they are in relation to our own
“reality.” And because our own reality evolves over time, it
seems that there is nothing constant and permanent in fair-
ness. It is only a relative, subjective concept without any
objective significance—a purely subjective illusion.

When does all this suffering end?

When we only are.

All this achieving and doing, is it ever enough?

When we only are.

I’m trying to find happiness and joy in life—how can I succeed?

When we only are.

How to cherish every moment?

When we only are.

Is there a way to help other people in this crazy world?

When we only are.

What is the opposite of doing and performing?

When we only are.

How to reach a pure existence?

When we are ready—we already are.

Have you ever considered the question where are you really?

Let’s start by defining a house: What is a house? Usually it
is built for a purpose—it has some relevance and function. A
house is built up from various different components that are
combined and put together from basic materials and miner-
als. In other words, a combination of materials put together in
a certain order is called a house. This house is not outside of
the world from which it is put together. A house can be old,
young, stylish, ugly, ruined, or abandoned. At the end of its
existence, it is again just various materials in another order
that is no longer called a house. So what was the house?

OK, back to us. Who am I? Am I the body that is com-
bined in a particular order from stem cells? Now we have
learned to replace our broken arms, hearts, and other organs
with new ones. We can even start to grow entirely new body
parts from our very own stem cells. We can be young, old,
beautiful, ugly, sick, or healthy. And at the end of the day we
are just a bunch of materials in different order and we are
called dead. So what was me?

As we defined, a house is a combination of things from its
surroundings. It is not outside of the world. It is part of the
world. But still the house is something that is separate
because we call it a house. If it were not separate, why should
it have a name? Something nonexistent cannot be seen or
realized. A separation means that it has boundaries and can
be put in relation to something.

When we are very young we do not know the difference
between our own body and the outside world. We learn this
separation from others. We can observe and sense things
around us that are not us. We do not feel them or cannot con-
trol them. So we come to a conclusion that they must not be
us. Similarly, in the way we call a bunch of materials laid
together in a particular order a house, other people call us by
name. Other people define us and we learn to be that whatev-
erthename they have given us.

House has a particular function or purpose. But what is
our purpose? Why are we at the same time separate from the
world but still part of the world as well (we do not live outside
of the world)? We are a bunch of materials put together in a
particular order and we have a certain concentration of atoms
or energy from which other people recognize us. So could this
separation serve a purpose? Why should we be separated from
the world if that would not be meaningful? No one would
build a house if the house would not have any function. There
would not even be a word house in that case. A separation
named house within the world serves a purpose for us—it
shelters and gives us a place to stay. But a house cannot
acknowledge itself. We can. Why should we be aware of our
separation and existence if that would not serve a purpose? It
would be totally strange to use energy to put something
together without any purpose.

So, who am I? For sure I am this separation called by my
name. I should be also part of the world because I’m built
upon the materials found in the world. But when my heart is
replaced or my leg is lost I do not vanish with them. So they
are not me. There seems to be other people like me. They
behave the same, they talk and communicate. Their existence
seems similar to mine. Still, they seem not to be me. There are
also other living things that are called animals and plants. I’m
not so sure of them because they do not communicate like
humans do. But I’m sure they exist as well. They live outside
of me.

Somehow it is difficult to go further from here. There
really does not seem to be a me, only this separation within
the world that is recognized by others. They have defined me,
and I am built upon things found in the world. My conclusion
is that there is no me or I could say as well that I am the world
because I’m part of it and live in it. This temporary separation
called me is like a house. But what is a house? My purpose is
to realize the separation as an illusion and as not more than
atoms laid in a particular order. A temporary concept built
upon to realize the concept of me—and its oneness with the
world. A separation to realize its oneness. And then shall I be
no more separated.

How can we learn about ourselves? By facing the Other.

Some time ago, I wrote about relationships and referred to
Martin Buber. Emmanuel Levinas was inspired by the work
of Buber and became one of the greatest French philosophers
of the twentieth century. Levinas pointed out that we can
only learn about ourselves by facing other beings that are not
us (the Other). We cannot share our existence—we can only
talk about it. And it is the human interaction that makes the
learning possible. We have to meet the Other, face to face.

In Humanism of the Other, Levinas raised ethics to a higher
level than just a discussion of pure ontology and knowledge
about being.

Totality and Infinity describes the difference between the
infinity and the self. It explains how we can be the self, the
subject, that seems to be separated from the infinity. Levinas
clarified the reason for the subjectivity and the illusion of sep-
aration from the Other and the infinity.

The purpose of subjectivity is to teach us about the unity
but one can learn about it only by being separated and being
in relation to other beings. And this lesson seems to be so
hard for us. We regard ourselves as special and unique. We are
not like the others. But the bottom line is that we are all the
same—part of the infinity and the unity. Our perceived sepa-
ration is an illusion that temporarily hides us from the truth.
And this lesson seems to take ages for us. Individualism and
selfishness are the popular themes of our time. Still, deep
inside we feel and know that all life is equal—part of the
same, the one.

Why are we sad?

Because we are not happy.

Why are we excited?

Because we are not bored.

Why are we in love?

Because we are not lonely.

Why are we upset?

Because we are not content.

When we realize,

Then we only are.

We are captured in duality. Space and time are our destiny. As
long as we are learning this lesson, we are under the role of
dualism. Life and death, day and night, good and bad. Action
and reaction. Everything we do or think causes a reaction—
and the action has its consequences.

As long as we have meanings and bonds to this dualistic
world, we are going to go through the lessons. But gradually,
very slowly, we are starting to give away. Let it go. We are no
longer carried away by either the positive or the negative
aspect. Nor are we trying to seek the one and avoid the other.
Actually, the whole occurrence becomes irrelevant. It is the
same no matter which way it turns. We grow to acknowledge
and ignore. No great feelings or attachments—just a pure
flow of actions and reactions. Step by step, a bigger part of our
life becomes about giving away—letting it go. And finally we
are free. We have totally given away the duality, and the previ-
ous polarization turns into unity. We have learned the les-
son—to give away.

We need dualism to live and experience. The list of examples
is basically infinite: day and night, good and bad, dark and
light, male and female, healthy and sick, and so on. Without
the opposite concept, we would not recognize the difference;
all would be the same. And when there is nothing else, we
cannot imagine or appreciate anything else—it would not
exist for us. This would make learning difficult because there
would be no way to compare things and occasions. How could
we appreciate life if there was no death?

Still, we are blind. We do not want to see that one cannot
get the other without expecting the other to occur as well.
We’re after happiness but we’re afraid of sorrow. We’re after
wealth but cannot stand poorness. We get disappointed when
the other event appears. Usually it’s a great disaster or bad
karma/luck. And when the positive occurrence meets us, we
have deserved it—naturally. It’s quite funny, I must say.
Unfortunately, this is how we live and act. The consequences
of our blindness are not nice to see. As much happiness as we
create, we create at least the same amount of sorrow by not
seeing the full picture. Our selfish behavior creates a mess
that others have to solve.

Most of the dualisms are our own creation. They do not
actually exist in our physical world. Think, for example, of
good and bad or beauty and ugliness. Each person formulates
his or her own perception of these concepts. Things are just
what they are—we create the meaning, the dualism. If we
would see the pure, true existence, there would be far fewer
surprises and disappointments and far fewer ideological wars
or “acts of rightness.” But are we able to learn to live without
the dualistic existence reminding us the lesson every day? For
instance, humankind has not learned to live in peace since the
first day of our existence—the concept seems so difficult to
master. Yet if you hit someone with a hammer and the other
person gets hurt, he or she might just hit back. Then you are
hurt as well, and everybody is worse off. Get the full picture?