Focus on Life™

We can do lots of things and also have plenty as well. Still we are often confused with our motives and purposes for the actions we do. Why am I having all these things around me? Are they boosting my ego, reducing insecurity, or even defining in a subtle way how I see and regard myself?

First of all, any action, item, or thing can be necessary or entirely useless. The real purpose and meaning is subjective and cannot be seen from the outset by any third party. Price, quality, or the amount of items is not relevant. The only thing that matters is your own point of view. Are you attached to your surroundings? Do they define who you are?

When you have a need for something you are not free. If you long for more things, shopping experiences, or just for the thrill of having always beautiful and new things to play around with all those are keeping you clung in the loop—you simply need more, and ever more. It might be exciting to travel a lot or switch a job once a year, but have you questioned why are you doing it? Are you sure that underneath there isn’t a pattern that you’re repeating? It might also be a fear. You need to feel important, useful, respected, admired, or busy. The common nominator is that you think that there is a need to window dress for something or someone. Funnily enough you might in reality only just try to fool yourself—no one else thinks anything of you nor is following your traces of thought. We all live in our subjective realities.

When you need to have in order to be it is time to reconsider your expectations and reasoning. How come you cannot be right now but only in the future after a certain activity or process? Owning something does not define who you are. They are simply the things that you happen to possess or have achieved like a title or education. Certainly you can communicate and express yourself with the things you have. But as long as you are not dependent on them you can enjoy them fully without being obsessed by their presence. A Ferrari does not need the driver—it tells its own story by its existence. However, many drivers use the car as a way to define who they are: I have this so I am like that—in their own mind. We buy peace of mind, for a very short time. Often the illusion disappears in a matter of minutes or days after we have gained something we have desired for. Then it is time to repeat the process and desire something else. We live by having. Still you can only live by being, but only after you have learned how to value your existence without any strings attached. Richness is about being, no matter what you have or do not have.

Tags: being, deception, having, illusion, Mind, motives, obsessions, owning, posessions, self-image, thoughts

We are all after happiness but seldom find it but only for a few glances or passing moments. Most of the time we are seeking to gain it via different things, people, or situations. We try to reproduce the moments and experiences we already had or we are just randomly trying to imitate someone else’s life with their choices. And all these methods fail to provide us anything but suffering and continuous seeking of happiness—they all are external to us.

Happiness is a state of mind that is independent of the circumstances or our surroundings. It is our natural state of being that we have learned to ignore while growing up. We have substituted the internal happiness for objects and desires external to us. They are conditional and related to some activities or specific points in time. What is common to all of these is that they are not present right now. They are projected to the future. This type of happiness is something that you’re always waiting for. Your constant mode is to achieve and ‘earn’ your happiness by actions or circumstances. In other words you are living in illusions filled by your expectations. Disappointments are a frequent visitor when you are dealing with your future projections based on your expected outcomes of the future situations or events. How much in control of your life you really are?

This ‘when..then’ -type of conditioning is very convincing but it is not really living. It’s about building dream castles and denying the moment. You are saying that I’m not happy right now and I’m substituting this moment for another one in the future. You are after the carrot that is always attached to the current moment—the stick stays in the future with the appealing prize as well. This takes many forms. We may prefer to work overtime and then compensate it back in the holidays. Or we are accumulating substantial wealth that we are hoping to spend after retirement. How can you enjoy your life later if you cannot do it now?

Happiness is not a destination—it is a journey. If you are not comfortable being in the journey you are suffering in the destination as well. Life is about experiencing and enjoying every moment you have. It requires that you are comfortable with uncertainty and change. We can only be happy when we have learned to accept the things that we cannot change and regard every passing moment as a gift that has some valuable lessons and experiences to give us. Only when being is enough you can be happy. As long as you need to achieve or become you are not going to find happiness. Life is about change and being in the moment—exploring the unknown.

Tags: achieving, becoming, being, change, control, desires, disappointment, expectations, Experience, future, happiness, illusion, life, living, Mind, now, time, uncertainty