When are we most proud of ourselves? It is on those moments when we have done something ourselves that requires effort and hard work. The joy comes from our own notion that we have excelled ourselves. We did something that was hard or even unthinkable some time ago. And most of all we did it ourselves—what a great feeling!
Still we tend to avoid hard work and let others do the trick for us. We resist anything that requires effort and stretching our capabilities in areas where we are weak. We hate everything strange and unfamiliar—we are actually afraid of it, just because it is something that we are not familiar with. And most of all it requires that we have to make an effort and extend our comfort zone by feeling vulnerable and insecure. We are afraid what may happen. Maybe the outcome will not be like we anticipated—we might even fail. And failing is never a positive experience in our mind. It is humiliating for us, and only for us, if we let it to be so.
Time after time we come right back where we started in our lives. Finally we have to admit that all the resources and time we spent looking for easy fixes and magic tricks that would do wonders for us are not working. We have to bite the bullet and simply do the most important things ourselves. It’s always some news for us and we seem to forget it each time. It is more comfortable to let others to think or do the job for us. Then we complain that we are not happy or our life is worthless. We are no good and cannot do anything right. Our life is without a purpose and no one appreciates us. No wonder if we have not achieved anything or made any efforts ourselves. We have lost the touch for our capabilities and ourselves. Simply we do not know anymore who we are since there are no occasions to test and define us by any real life challenges.
Integrity is something that only we, ourselves, can compromise. We are in control and decide how we live our life. Most of the situation or outcomes are not ours to decide but we can still choose how to take them. We define by our existence who we are. If we appreciate ourselves and are comfortable with our lives and choices we do, this is directly reflected in the world around us. The world is like a mirror for us. The way we look at it the same way it will look back. When we believe in ourselves and are who we believe we are this cannot get unnoticed by others. We claim ourselves by our existence.
Unfortunately we are often uncomfortable with ourselves. We are insecure, hesitant and shameful about our existence. In other words we do not trust ourselves and this radiates to the world around us. People can feel and smell it. We are contradicting ourselves—we are not confident and comfortable.
Integrity builds from the fact that we accept ourselves as we are—with all the faults, shortcomings, and good qualities. More importantly we are open to ourselves and let us do mistakes. We are not afraid of being what we are and therefore also to fail sometimes. We are not shamed to be ignorant, clumsy, or otherwise not so perfect with all the things and situation we have to face. We are proud but humble to be the one who we are. No matter what we do—it does not change or compromise our integrity, our existence.
We can only compromise our own integrity by not being honest with ourselves. If we are shamed what we are or present it means that there is something that we do not like about ourselves: something that we want to hide or get rid of it. There is something that we do not want to admit that we have but cannot bare. Our greatest burdens are our own expectations and self-judgment. We, and only we, can define who we are. Our life can be rich and exciting with lots of opportunities and humps in the way but the way we see them and feel about ourselves in the journey define who we are. Life is a road and only travelling is important. Why not concentrate on learning about ourselves and allow us to make mistakes on the way. If we are not allowed to fail how could we learn at all? Expeditions are always risky and hard work but is there any another way to conquer undefined territories (in us)?